Not knowing how someone sees themselves is one of the more difficult reasons why it’s hard to shop for someone else. For example, someone may think they are perceived as being professional but to everyone else, they seem lazy and inappropriate and their looks reflect that. This person subconsciously is more relaxed in a professional setting but because they’ve worked hard to achieve a more professional mindset, they are professional from their perspective.
So when you buy them a top that you think they would wear to work, they may not like if for 2 reasons. Either it’s because you picked an item that was too casual in their mind but was similar to something you’ve seen them wear before or you buy something that is too professional from their perspective. In some cases, you may offend them if they’ve asked you to buy something they could wear to work or if you explain why you purchased what you did because it isn’t in alignment with how they see themselves.
When someone hasn’t presented themselves for who they truly are, you just don’t know them. However, in this scenario, the person has intentionally made it difficult for you to know who they are. You’ve taken the time to get to know them but they’ve failed to show you who they are. So when you shop for them, you are shopping for the person you think they are and are left highly confused as to why they don’t like what you’ve picked out for them. Sometimes, they will like the gift because you’ve shopped for the person they want to be and is the reason they haven’t shown you who they truly are.
However, others will not like what you bought because who they pretend to be is limited to you and a few other people. For example, someone may pretend to love makeup around one person because that other person loves makeup and he or she desires to fit in with that other person’s lifestyle. However, when that person buys him or her makeup for Christmas, he or she may pretend to love the gift only to give it away and when the other person notices they never wear that makeup in their presence, they will be confused as to why.
Some of us are guilty of being these different people at certain times in life but the truth is, shopping for someone else is simply a hard thing to do if you don’t truly know someone. When you have built a great connection and relationship with someone, it’s almost natural for you to buy something for them because you cared enough to learn who they are and as far as the rest of the situations, if they cared enough about their relationship with you and were more honest with you and themselves, shopping for them would be easier.